Fret Not

If you believe in the existence of Divinity, you understand that nothing in life happens by chance, especially in relationships. Relationships are among the most challenging trials we face, and the goal is to emerge from them wiser and unscathed. It’s natural to feel despair when difficulties arise, but remember: "fret not" is the key to overcoming relational challenges.

FRET NOT stands for:

F = “Fair”

R = “Reasonable”

E = “Expectations”

T = “Timely”

N = “Not lose sight”

O = “Outcome”

T = “Tangible and meaningful benefits”

In essence:

Always approach your relationships with fair and reasonable expectations, at the right time, and don’t lose sight of the outcomes and long-term benefits they may bring.

What is fairness? Treat others as you wish to be treated, even when they don’t do the same for you. Fairness requires self-reflection, ensuring we focus on our behaviour rather than finding fault in others.

What is reasonable? Understand that just as you have your reasons, others have theirs too. Reasonableness involves setting aside differences to reach a win-win consensus in order to build strong relationships. It reminds us to think logically.

What are fair and reasonable expectations? Expect imperfections in your relationships, as no one is perfect. It is unfair and unreasonable to demand more from others when they are facing limitations that require your support. Failing to recognise this can harm the relationship’s growth. This reminds us to be proactive in nurturing great relationships.

What is an appropriate time? When the other person is in emotional turmoil, it’s unfair and unreasonable to discuss expectations. Timing is crucial; allow emotions to settle before raising important matters. This reminds us to choose the right moment for discussion.

What does it mean to not lose sight? Keep your vision for your relationships clear. This vision is crucial for long-term emotional well-being, stability, and fulfilment. Stay focused on building strong relationships, and always share your vision with those involved.

What is the outcome? Consider the end state of your relationships as you age. Are they flourishing, or are they filled with regrets? This reminds us to accept the shortcomings of others early on and to set aside differences, as time may not always allow for reconciliation later in life.

What are the tangible and meaningful benefits of a relationship? They involve the dissolution of Karma tied to relationships in this life and possibly past lives. Cultivating great relationships helps stop the cycle of Karma between you and others. This reminds us to view relationships as opportunities for growth and spiritual progress.

In times of relational difficulties, always remember to "fret not."